« United Progressive Papists for Victory! | Main | The Complicated Mill »

In Ask a Hysterical Liberal!

April 12, 2005

The Doctor Is In!

Hey everybody! Wow. It has been a busy 2005, and it's only going to get busier, since mid-term elections are just around the corner. Not to mention the fact that new DNC Chairman Howard Dean is completely reinventing the Party! It is truly, truly, an exciting time to be a Hysterical Liberal.

I'm sorry that I haven't answered your questions in a while! I've been involved in an awful lot of lobbying efforts lately, and I'm proud to say that all of them resulted in partial victories! For instance, though most of the Senate voted to accept Gonzalez as the new Attorney General, three dozen voted against him! Way to take a stand! (Usually I think that the Senate should just confirm nominees; after all, that's what we'd want Republicans to do if we had a Democrat in the White House, so why not pre-emptively return the favor? But in this unique case, the nominee in question is associated with torture, and torture is something I am personally against in most cases. Therefore, I had to speak out!)

Also, 162 Democrats voted to give Bush additional money for the war in Iraq, but several voted against it. Partial victory!

But enough about me; I should do the job the fine folks at ReverseVoteSwap.org are paying me to do. Let's answer some questions!

Dear Hysterical Liberal: At first, I was pretty jazzed about Dean taking over as head of the DNC. Later, however, I took a look at his pledge which describes his plans for the party. Have you seen this garbage? It doesn't say anything at all about bringing a more progressive agenda into the party. It just says, "use the internet." Shouldn't Dean be saying something about Iraq, or Social Security, or gay rights, or something?
--Blue-State Blues

Dear B-SB: First of all, no. You have to try better to understand the difference between politics and organizing! The two are very different things. Politics are things we talk about amongst ourselves. Organizing is what we do with other people, and it's important not to get the two confused! I know I'm still excited about the work of Dr. Chairman Dean, and I recite his pledge every night as I lay me down to sleep. It's just what the doctor ordered! (No pun intended!) Besides, I think he's really on to something with this internet thing. For instance, I think some liberal blogs would be a good idea, don't you? I think that some liberal bloggers could seriously shake things up and be a major force in 2008! So take the pledge, and quit whining.

Dear Hysterical Liberal: Did you notice that MoveOn.org has moved on from talking about the war? I thought that those guys were a serious political outfit, but now they won't talk about the most important issue in all of world politics. I'm seriously considering cancelling my membership. What do you think?
--Moving On Out

Dear MOO: First of all, you're totally wrong. Iraq obviously isn't the most important issue in all of world politics. To find out what's really most important, do what I do: Watch some TV, and see what the news guys are talking about most. Clearly, in light of the recent fight around Terry Schiavo and all the coverage given to the Pope, the most important issue in all of world politics is the death of people who are already basically dead. This is what liberals should be talking about! Maybe it wouldn't be so big a deal to be near death if Americans got to live in a country where a Democrat was President. Did you ever think about it that way? I'll bet not! My prescription for you? Take Dr. Dean's pledge! (No pun intended!)

Dear Hysterical Liberal: I don't understand why the Democrats don't take advantage of Republican stupidity. For instance, a clear majority of people were against Congressional meddling in the Schiavo case. The Democrats should have pointed out how absurd it was that Schiavo's parents tried to betray her wishes. Isn't Howard Dean a doctor or something? It seems like he could have really nailed Bill Frist. Why aren't these guys doing a better job?
--Dismayed or Confused

Dear DOC: First of all, these guys are doing a great job! You just have to understand pragmatic politics. Can you imagine the outcry from Jesusland if Democrats had said something reasonable about Terry Schiavo? The GOP would have accused them of being anti-life. Which is the same thing as pro-death. And that is not a label you want to be stuck with in politics! Democrats completely made the right decision on this one. Now they can refocus their energy on the real tasks of the day: getting Democrats elected! DOC, heal thyself! And take the pledge. (Pun implied.)

That's it for now, friends! I've got some envelopes to stuff!

Posted by convener at April 12, 2005 01:11 PM